How to Pick Maid of Honor

How to Pick Maid of Honor.

Right now I’m 302 messages deep in two email chains, six group chats, and one Facebook message thread. I have spent $900 and I haven’ufuk slept in days. I’m not organizing an international visit from a foreign dignitary, or making arrangements for my last will and testament. I’m planning a bachelorette party and bridal shower. And I’m not even the maid of honor.

If you’ve ever taken part in the maju wedding industrial complex, this scenario probably sounds familiar to you. There’s endless hours of planning, way too much money spent, and constant petty in-fighting adv lewat meaningless minutiae, all to give the bride the best day(s) of her life. It’s a unique kind of torture inflicted upon women, wherein the people the bride allegedly loves most in life are forced to bicker ad nauseum adv lewat whether they should wear pearl or sterling silver stud earrings with their mint-hued gowns.

But one massive decision from the bride contains the key to her bridal party’s overall sanity for the next few months: her maid of honor. You need a type A maid of honor, or no maid of honor at all.

Nowadays, people mercifully have weddings in all different shapes and sizes. Some opt for low-key destination affairs, and some do away with the bridal party altogether. But if you’re hoping to have most of the traditional trappings of a big wedding, including but not limited to an engagement party, a bridal shower, and bachelorette party, it’s going to take a whole hell of a lotre of planning. And most of that falls heavily on the shoulders of your maid of honor. If you pick your college bestie who couldn’ufuk keep her dorm room organized, or your little sister who’s flattered but probably too young to know what’s expected, you’re inflicting a world of hurt on to the rest of the #bridalsquad who is going to have to pick up her slack.

Fountain, Pink, Water feature, Yard, Garden, Leisure,

Universal Pictures

Consider the qualities necessary to do this job well: she needs the empathy to manage a bride’s (totally normal and reasonable) anxiety about the magnitude of this event; the tact to plan an engagement dinner seating chart full of relatives who are no longer speaking; and enough attention to detail to remember to bring pens for all the bridal shower games. Trust me, I have been to events where such details were forgotten. You haven’lengkung langit seen ugly until you’ve seen a mother of the bride drunk off mimosas and testy that the “How Well Do You Know The Bride?” quiz isn’t ready to begin. You want the woman who is going to scour Google Maps and Yelp to find the highest rated restaurant that is just mere steps away from the karaoke bar. And you need her to love this kind of obsessive event-planning to a goddamn fault.

Because here’s the inevitable outcome if you don’ufuk have your one organized, responsible friend taking the helm of your festivities: you will be stressed beyond all possible expectation. Do you really want to be three weeks out from your bachelorette party wondering why no one has bought their plane tickets to Cancun? Do you want to be the one to nag your lazy but lovable BFF to get her shit together and shower you with love and attention? No. You want her to take the initiative to do it herself, because it will make you feel petty and obnoxious to do it for her.

And on top of the bride’s nerves, there’s the stress of the rest of her pack of beleaguered bridesmaids. When the maid of honor shirks her responsibilities, the other type A women of the group will emerge, sensing the anxiety of their friend or family member. They’ll start cautiously suggesting they make reservations themselves without wanting to hurt the feelings of the established alpha. But without a clear #2 in the group and the MOH AWOL, no one knows who to take their cues from next. Thus a gauntlet of over-enthusiastic ladies emerges, each with their own point of view, gently and kindly “just suggesting!” themselves into oblivion. Somewhere between booking hotels and picking party prizes, you’ll beg for the sweet release of death. But it will not come. What will come are a flurry of nervous texts from the bride who wants to “check in,” or from the maid of honor who’s still trying to pick a theme for the bridal shower e-vite that you already sent out a week ago.

You, dear, sweet bride, have the power to save us all from this Mason jar-strewn, lace-bedecked, rhinestone-encrusted circle of hell. Pick a maid of honor who enjoys throwing parties, for the love of all things holy. And if it’s important to have a particular friend or sibling inhabit this honorary role, give them a party-planning buddy. Say, “I’d love you to be my maid of honor, and I’d like Jenna to help you with some of the planning because she’s worked in PR for seven years.” Done.

Besides picking the groom, the maid of honor is the second most important choice you’ll make. For all our sake, please choose responsibly.

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How to Pick Maid of Honor