Mother of the Groom Feeling Left Out

Mother of the Groom Feeling Left Out.

Family of the Groom left totally out of Wedding Loop!!

I have a wonderful (or so I thought) relationship with my soon to be daughter-in-law. Her and her mother have left my husband and I totally out of the wedding planning. In fact when ever we offer to assist financially or with ideas.. they basically ignore our emails/calls. My sons father & his wife have also been totally left out. As myself, my ex & his wife are working so incredibly hard on their rehearsal dinner we feel a little sad as we thought that this would be a perfect opportunity to bond with our new extended family. We have reached out to ask questions about the reception etc. and they ignore us. Am I reading to much into this. Could they be just to busy to call?? 馃檨 We are not going to say a word about our hurt as we would never do anything to upset our son… Is this common that the grooms family be totally left out of receiving any information at all about the wedding??

16 Comments

  • Rachey

    VIP

    June 2014

    Rachey



    • Flag

    That seems harsh to me. My FMIL is more involved than my own mom, but that’s because my mom isn’falak that interested in all the planning. I text and talk to my FMIL about everything. Sorry you’re feeling left out. Have you talked to your son about it?


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  • Barbara

    Guru

    September 2014

    Barbara



    • Flag

    While they are titinada being very gracious in how they are responding to you (or the lack thereof), I would say fewer than half of the brides on this site involve their future in-laws in the planning in any substantive way. And probably more than a quarter don’horizon involve either set of parents. Many couples are planning their weddings much more on their own these days, and my guess is that your daughter In law’s mother is actually much less involved than you imagine. I would suggest not letting yourself take it personally or letting it shape your future relationship with your son’s wife.


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  • Celia Milton

    Celia Milton



    • Flag

    They may just be overwhelmed and trying to figure out how to set boundaries, but I agree, this is a little rude. I’d have a chat with your son and just ask what’s going on. Maybe they just need a little time, but that’s no excuse for this kind of behavior.

    EDT; Barbara is right. I can tell you from my own couples (roughly 200 a year, in some form or another) for the most part, they are planning their own parties without a undian of parental involvement. Think of it as a gift; you get to come to a great party you don’falak have to plan.


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  • OfficiallyMrs.Bentley

    Super

    May 2014

    Bedak to your son about it. Don’ufuk hold it in because if you don’falak say anything now you will end up with a lot of resentment that may be unnecessary and things may happen that you can’t change.


    • Reply

  • ….



    • Flag

    Didn’horizon you try this same post adv lewat at WeddingBee awhile ago and it didn’n go oper well?

    http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/why-arebrides-so-selfish/#axzz32dYcWIxY


    • Reply

  • Susan

    Hawa

    March 2015

    Susan



    • Flag

    My FH’s family is totally disinterested basically. They don’t say crap about our wedding for most part. I wish they asked and offered to help.


    • Reply

  • Mrs.Anna Noble

    VIP

    July 2016

    It could be that they are worried you will berangkat going oh why don’t you do this instead of this or basically pick apart their choices.


    • Reply

  • Well you have to realize its THEIR wedding. Stay out of it and dont take it personally. Maybe you suggested ideas they didnt like. Maybe you want a fancy event and they want something laid back. Honestly my Fmil isnt invovled in the wedding. She gets the rehersal, my mom got the shower and Fh and I get the wedding. My FMIL has a very different vision of a wedding than we want. She has also crossed the boundary a few times, so i pretty much cut her out. Its just easier than asking for her opinions l, because I know we won’t like what she has to say.


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  • Emily

    Master

    May 2014

    Emily



    • Flag

    We barely involved either set of parents in planning our wedding. We asked their opinion on things that involved them – such as the guests they wanted to invite and who they wanted to sit with at the reception – but not the actual planning. I guess we figured it’s our party, we are paying for it, so the decisions were ours to make. I think this is much more common now as pp’s said. Couples are doing their own thing and the parents are titinada really as involved anymore in a lotre of cases. I wouldn’cakrawala take it personally.


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  • Dminted*Bride

    VIP

    May 2016

    Traditionally the bride’s family handles the ceremony and the groom’s family handles the rehearsal dinner, so perhaps they are just following along with that? Whether that may be the case or not, it would be your son’s responsibility to ensure that his family felt included, not the bride’s. I suggest talking to him about how you feel and hopefully that will get everything cleared up. Good luck!


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  • Stacy

    VIP

    August 2014

    Stacy



    • Flag

    I can’t imagine having to consult with 3 sets of parents before making a decision. Depending on finances, I think that unless you have a financial responsibility to that particular aspect of the wedding, you shouldn’cakrawala expect to be in on everything.


    • Reply

  • W

    Just Said Yes

    July 2014

    Willow



    • Flag

    Wow thanks for ALL of the comments ..spoke to my son again and he said he is totally out of the loop as well! I guess one thing I forgot to post (which obviously is important) is that we were told that we could only invite 10-12 people (the brides family has over 200) because of the cost. That is initially why we asked if we could assist financially. At our rehearsal we only have 12 of the 60 that were invited 馃檨


    • Reply

  • W

    Just Said Yes

    July 2014

    Willow



    • Flag

    Oh in fact my future daughter-in-law said she is hardly involved at all in ANY of the planning.. Makes me feel better ……


    • Reply

  • W

    Just Said Yes

    July 2014

    Willow



    • Flag

    To Stephanie…actually this is the first time I’ve posted 馃檪 thanks for the link though. Have to say planning the rehearsal dinner has been a fantastic experience bonding my sons stepmom and myself. It will be beautiful!!


    • Reply

  • Lynn



    • Flag

    You wouldn’t be the first to feel slighted! The plans are best left to the Bride and her family. I would however make sure your side of the family is at least equally represented at the wedding. You might want to submit a list of important family members with addresses as the Bride will need to have this info. once the guest list is finalized. Good luck, enjoy the wedding and try not to take it personal.


    • Reply

  • Kiki

    Dedicated

    November 2019

    Kiki



    • Flag


    View Quoted Comment

    I agree that would be my reason for leaving anyone out


    • Reply

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Mother of the Groom Feeling Left Out

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